I was intoxicated and without a computer on and around my birthday. It was my 24th so I thought I would try and pull together (a far too briefly summarised) 24 incidents/memories from my 24 years because I literally have no other opinions to force upon the world.
So, in no particularly order but a bit chronological:
1. My first girlfriend.
I think I was maybe 3ish, I can’t remember her name, we held hands and we met at playgroup. I think I made the very first (of my very few) noble gestures at Lollipops Nursery; I won a key-ring of an army man and I gave it to her as she was leaving Nursery and starting school. Dating older women, wasn't a trend that stuck.
2. Scott Downs being sick Freddy Mitting biting an apple with a worm in – all in the same day!
This was at my first school, Brooklands. That day was amazing. I had never seen anyone be so violently sick! And why did schools used to use sawdust to clean up sick? What was that all about?! Is it still there?!
I’m not facebook friends with either of them, it’d be interesting to hear whether Freddy is still as camp and if Scott is still faster than me. Life's questions continue to be unanswered.
3. Spencer getting better than me at football.
It was inevitable. He is the sportier brother. The brother who got up and walked out of a room after me instead of learning to walk like the rest of us. He is a good footballer, and it became quite apparent that if I wanted any sporting prowess then I would need to find another sport. All this, sprang upon me by the age of 7. We remain close friends to this day.
4. Orme House.
Aged 8, I moved schools. A free transfer to Orme House from Brooklands. That place will always have a space in my heart - notably the memorable Eyam trip where Julie Wright kept us up-to-date with the football scores, origami club with Mrs Daker (oh yeah, it was that cool) and when Stefan tripped me up and I grazed my face on the tennis courts - injuring myself, it would seem, is not a trait I have lost (ask anyone from Cannock).
Also, this is where I found hockey, or it found me. Glory days of junior hockey under Mr Broome. And it brought me up against Cannock Hockey Club, and I met my nemesis - Luke Dalton, who I hated. He was good (better than me) and it annoyed me. They always beat us in the county final, it became very frustrating.
5. Joining Cannock
If you can’t beat them, join them - I had to play rugby at NULS so couldn't play hockey at the weekend until I was 15, and that's when I joined Cannock. I am still playing there and out of all the friends I have made, the ones at Cannock are definitely some of them. I grew to like Luke, he's now a marine and a very good friend (both valuable traits in my book).
6. Playing football, with a girl
My Mum was a good footballer. She has played for England, which is pretty awesome; but I digress. At Orme House, we had a girl on our team. She was really good, her name was Georgia. I remember in particular, at one snowed covered tournament, where "the girl from the Orme" got a special mention, at which I think Sam and Rowls both cried because they were so cold - but Georgia didn't and I think that's why everyone wanted to 'go out' with her - a girl playing football at primary school, roughing it with the boys - she was cool. Our relationship was brief, but I wish her every success and hope she is happy.7. Being conned into going to Florida
This is a bizarre tale. Basically I was conned, along with my brother, into a family holiday with my cousins. We got promised a trip to Legoland, but we had to meet our uncle, aunt and cousins who had flown down to Gatwick from Worcester (oh how foolish it all seems now) who we would be going to the them park with. Anyway, when we got there my cousins asked us where we would want to go if we could go anywhere in the world. Between to two of us we answered Italy or Greece. We didn't go there, we went to Florida and had an amazing time. I have since learned that my school friends knew along along but kept their silence - and that's when I knew they were worth confiding in. Still haven't been to Legoland, but I have managed trips to Greece and Italy.
8. 9/11
I was in Chemistry with Mr Heeley, who took a phone call in the middle of our lesson from a friend who was currently in New York at the time of the terrorist attacks across America on 11th September. It was surreal. We couldn't believe it was true. We raced to a computer cluster and all frantically hammered news websites for further updates. It's one of those "Where were you when..." scenarios. It's a memory that will not disappear quickly.
9. The unsuccessful audition
I like drama. I was lucky enough to play Don John in Much Ado in my final year at school and also Joseph at the junior school nativity - both key roles at respective scales of the good guy:bad guy spectrum. However, there was one audition where I didn't get a part - not even boy number 6 or shepherd 3. I was gutted. Miss Potts dashed my thespian desires by not giving me a part for Grimm Tales, at the age of 13. I pretended I wasn't bothered - but I cried when I got home. I didn't audition for the year after as a result of my heartbreak, but I decided to give it a try once again for Guys and Dolls at the age of 15 - I could sing a little, so that stood me in decent stead, and despite a clear lack of acting talent I got a part. Since then familiarity with English teaching staff always secured me a role until I left school. I decided not to pursue drama after school because people take it far too seriously, trust me - you do. And if you don't think that, you probably think I'm over-dramatic, I'm not - I'm just over drame.
10. What’s the code?!
Possibly the best combination of bad planning and a great idea. Once a week the boys from the entire GCSE year would migrate from English to Maths. All boys in one place at one time at a single point of entry building with a code locked door. We all knew the code, but what was the fun in that. Basically we sieged the doors to breaking point and we loved it. It was ritualised. The girls all thought we were idiots, but what did they know. What's the code?! Brilliant. We actually re-enacted this at our 5 year reunion, proof that boys grow old but will never grow up.
11. Ryan’s party
I was invited, but only through other people dropping out I think which was a poignant memory in itself, it was the first time I realised that there was social segregation within our year group. I happily accepted my secondhand invite and rocked up with 16 VK’s and drank none of them. I drank lager, and hated it - everyone hated it, but boys had to drink it until they liked it - that's just how it was. I kissed 3 girls that night. None of them now speak to me - but I don't think that has anything to do with that night. It's a great memory as it was the first 'no parents' party I had been to. It had an ice luge for drinks, people were kissing multiple people, someone was sick: it was refreshingly entertaining.
12. Poros
Along similar lines, this was a school watersports holiday but would be the first 'no parents holiday' outside of the UK, with only teachers for company. I have fond memories of this holiday, having shared a flat with Rowls, Adam, Miggy and Blakey it was bound to be eventful. I remember Jake Lloyd getting really drunk and being sick, Rowls getting stung by a bee and his hand swelling up to twice it's normal size and Claudia kissing Blakey. Oh take me back, where has my youth gone!
13. Fracturing my skull
Probably the only really bad thing that's happened to me playing hockey - here's hoping it stays that way. It was the Under-16 School Championships Midland semi-final, vs. Rugby school. It was during the second half and as the last player back, with our keeper rounded the chap hit a reverse stick shot and bang, the next thing I knew I was knocked backwards into the goal-post. It didn't hurt but I sat up and suddenly my head was bleeding, quite profusely. The teachers ran on to the pitch and Mr Chesterman told me, in what I expect was to comfort me, "Don't panic, but I can see your skull" - brilliant. It's fine now, I have a Potter-esque scar and needed about 18 stitches. The best of it was that the school nurse had called my mum and asked if I wanted to talk to her just before I got wheeled into an ambulance, only seconds away from going into shock. I agreed and the conversation went as follows:
Mum: Hi Joshy, are you ok?
Josh: No, we're losing 2-0 and there's only 10 minutes to go.
Mum: That's a pity. See you at the hospital.
We lost 3-1. I have since learned that Mr Murtagh (a French teacher) actually laughed and walked off when it happened and a school friend Ben Williams said (to the rugby boys who had come down to see why an ambulance was at the hockey pitch) "Why are you clapping? He's in a wheelchair" - such sympathy was obviously appreciated, I preceded to go into shock just as the ambulance doors closed.
14. Colin McNamara
We were horrible to him. He was a nice guy, genuinely. He was our supply teacher for AS Level Economics. He was forever making spelling mistakes and we pounced upon his weaknesses constantly. We pretended that Will Bailey and I were arch-enemies and constantly fought, it was hilarious every lesson. There were plenty of supply teachers we came across during our time at school but Colin will take the cherry. He didn't half talk some shit but we loved it and made his time with us if not enjoyable, then eventful. On his last day we bought him a tin of potatoes, which the returning member of staff informed us he had left in the staff room.
15. The University of Leeds open day that never was
We were allowed to have days of absence to attend university open days in our final years at school, so I duly completed the necessary paperwork and had the appropriate conversations and on the Wednesday (as if there is any other day of the week worth going to Leeds) I went up to the university on the train. I walked from the train station up to the Parkinson building only to discover I had come on the wrong day, I was a week late! However, all was not lost - I went to the business school and explained the situation and someone made themselves available for an hour and gave me some extra material and then advised me that "the best way to get a feel for this place is to just walk around and see what you find" - I went to the union and had a pint in the terrace, got chatting to some random people who thought I was someone else and then I walked around the campus, map in hand - I loved it, I knew it was where I wanted to go and that some mistakes are meant to be made.
16. Going to Tuscany
Not Ibiza, but Tuscany. That's where my friends and I went to celebrate the end of our A-Levels. It was excellent, and it's not full of old people contrary to popular opinion. We went to a pizzeria nearly every day, got taken to a local football tournament where we shouted English football chants much to all the Italians' amusement, went to a party in the hills at a shack in complete darkness with complete strangers, watched all the girls from our group fall in love with the Italian boys who all drive Fiats, got beaten at football quite comfortably and watched Flath dislocate his shoulder in the pool trying to catch an American football in a swimming pool. Oh, and Emma Tonks losing her virginity in a car (Volvo, I think) to the cousin of a guy she kissed just 3 nights previously. I wouldn't change that holiday for the world. My holiday highlight will have to be when I went to watch the World Cup final (where Italy won on penalties) in a city square in Italy with Dom Davies - I don't think I will ever match that moment as a sporting spectator, it was the craziest night.
17. A-Levels Results Day
This wasn't about the results, it was about the fact this would be the last day we would all be in the same place at the same time as a year group. We were tight, there was little segregation amongst the boys in our year (girls obviously had their own agendas) so it was a very sad day to know we wouldn't ever have those days again. I won't dwell on it, but it was exciting to know we were all off to where we wanted.
18. Initiation
Well, you had to 'join' the hockey club at Leeds University beyond paying the membership fee. I continue to be jealous when I hear initiations are going on, under the guise of 'Welcome Drinks'. I won't ruin it for those who may have yet to join a sports club at university but I had a simultaneously terrible and terrific evening, and it's great to know that it is a ritual all other members have gone through (past and present), this rite of passage, a journey of self-discovery with the promise of acceptance and brotherhood.
19. Study to Work LUBS2020
I took the decision to take an industrial placement year, as it was optional within my degree programme and my job prospects weren't all that great so I needed something to bolster the CV. I nearly ended up in Bolton with Reebok - but it would seem fate wanted me to find my feet elsewhere. I took a gamble and it paid off. It took me away from my university year-group and meant I would have a year away from LUUMHC and re-don my Cannock kit for another year. That year massively shaped where I am today and I'm still with SSL.
20. Falling over on EuroSport
One of the most special and probably best achievement in my hockey career (very loose term!) was playing in the EHL KO16 in Hamburg, and how am I most fondly remembered on this fateful day? The fact that me High 5-ing someone is the first live footage? No. Laney ran into me, I swear. I fell over. I was never destined for great things. The great thing was that so many of the guys I came through the club with were there with me.
21. LUUMHC 1st Team Captaincy
Chris Emery (departing Club Captain) approached me and asked if I would run for 1s Captain in the upcoming LUUMHC AGM in April 2010. I was reluctant to go for the position as a returning 3rd year - I didn't know over half the team, and I couldn't make the AGM in person so I typed a speech (sending it to Chrissy on Facebook) and ended up being unopposed. So that was it - I was on the commitee, got my hoodie and free entry to Gatecrasher card, perfect -job done.
22. The Last Summer Ball/Graduating from Leeds
The end of an era. Ended suitably with The Summer Ball (the last event of the university calendar, after all the exams), the informal graduation party. Playing 'Ram the Fat Girl' on the dodgems - so much fun. Jake splitting his trousers and having to put string round his waist to hold them up. Getting the last bus back and sitting on Parkinson steps with a bottle of Champagne at 7am the next morning, quoting Wedding Crashers and reminiscing. Perfect.
23. Getting a real job
I was lucky enough to make enough friends on my placement year that they would have felt bad about not taking me back at Synectics. This was it - I was officially employed, out of education, on an income, had a work phone. No looking back now, I'm managing some of the best projects going, have wonderful colleagues and I'm happy. Onwards and upwards.
24. Writing a blog
Well that's it. 24 years done. Time to start making more of an impression on the world: write a blog, get creative. It's been fun so far and it's been nice to write posts like this, it makes me think of how lucky I have been and how lucky I still am to have so many more than 24 memories to write about. Here's to the next 24, I hope they are as much fun and filled with love xx
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